Naming ceremonies for hospital-circumcised babies enable parents to have a Jewish birth ceremony when they feel a hospital circumcision is more convenient or otherwise superior to brit milah, or when brit milah feels foreign due to their secular or interfaith backgrounds. Parents of babies who are intact may also choose to have a naming. Some clergy adopt a “don’t ask/don’t tell” policy. They don’t ask the parents about whether the infant had a hospital circumcision, and the parents don’t tell whether they opted out of the procedure.
Brit shalom avoids the don’t ask/don’t tell scenario. Why is this preferable? For most non-circumcising families, don’t ask/don’t tell leaves many open questions, including fear of being outed in the future. Moreover, “not saying” or “not being asked” implies that a parent’s choice to forgo circumcision is shameful and necessitates secrecy. This doesn’t make for open and welcoming communities. Brit shalom makes clear that parents have specifically chosen not to circumcise and are doing so with pride and integrity.